How I WISH New Moon had gone
by AnonymousTypster
Summary: Edward leaves Bella (Izzy in this one-shot) alone in the woods after telling her he and his family are leaving forever. And she doesn't react at all like her book self does. This is how I wish she would have reacted to Edward leaving her. (This is an old file I found on my computer. I hope you enjoy!)


"Goodbye, Izzy".

Edward gently kissed my forehead, and there was a rush of wind. I opened my eyes.

He was gone.

I stood there a moment, dumbfounded. Edward? Gone? No, this was a mad dream. This couldn't actually be happening. Edward wouldn't leave me. He said we'd be together forever.

Forever…

I felt the tears build up behind my eyes, and I struggled to keep from sobbing as I turned back home, walking rigidly, each step painful. This was a nightmare, this wasn't real. This simply couldn't be happening, because Edward had said we were soulmates. Born to be with each other. Why would he sever a connection like that?

I reached my front door, and entered my house, closing the door a little too firmly behind me. As my composure fell away, I ran upstairs to my room, and threw myself down on my bed. Choked sobs clawed their way out of my throat, and my face screwed up as the tears streamed down my face. I called out his name, asking him to come back to me. The sane part of me knew he couldn't hear me, but there was a desperate hope somewhere in the back of my consciousness that held on the the slim hope that he was, perhaps, listening to my reaction. Maybe this was a test, to see how much I loved him.

 _Yes, that's it._ The irrational part of my brain argued, as I sobbed my heart and soul onto my sheets. _Edward, I love you, I love you, I love you. Come back to me, I promise I love you more than life itself. Please, just come back to me._

I distantly heard Charlie pull the cruiser into the driveway, and heard the slam of the car door as me made his way inside. I didn't care. Charlie could die, but as long as Edward came back to me, I would survive. I heard the front door slam, and Charlie's footsteps. A minute or so later, his voice rang out,

"Izzy? Where are you?"

A wave of fresh sobs erupted from me, and I heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Izzy! Are you crying?"

"NO!" I screamed, "Go away!"

Of course, he didn't. I heard a gentle knock on my door.

"Izzy, what happened? Does this have something to do with the Cullens?"

I cried out in agony just from mention of the name, tears coursing their way down my face.

"Charlie, please, please, just leave me alone! Please!"

I heard shuffling outside the door, as Charlie considered what he should do.

"Well… alright. But if you need anything, just let me know, okay?".

He waited a moment for an answer, but I couldn't speak through the sobs. He finally gave up, and I heard his shuffling footsteps as he went downstairs. I faintly heard the TV turn on, and I regretted not making dinner for him, but then I was overcome by grief again, and returned to my agonizing sobbing.

As the hours passed, I went through all my memories with Edward. When he saved me from being crushed by Tyler's van, saving me from those creeps in Port Angeles, showing me his meadow… Each memory hurt my heart, but I was afraid of forgetting what his face looked like. As my eyes began to get droopy, and my mind started to get foggy, I found myself wondering, _All this pain, is it worth it?_ Before I could think that over, I felt myself drifting gently to sleep.

I dreamed of Edward and I in the meadow. The sun shone through the branches of the trees, making the wildflowers shine like precious jewels. There was a gentle breeze, warm on my skin. Edward was leaning against my chest, his icy fingers stroking my arm as he listened intently to the sound of my heart. My blood was running swiftly through my veins, my breath not quite even. God, how did he do this to me?

As he lay against my chest, he exhaled sharply.

"It's too bad, really."

I didn't understand. I was about to ask him what he meant, when he swiftly stood up. He looked down at me, a sad smile on his face.

"It's unfortunate that I have to end this, but it's for your own good, truly."

With that, he turned away from me, and began walking to the edge of the meadow, into the forest opposite the way we came from. I stumbled onto my feet, trying to go after him.

"Edward! Wait!"

"Really, Izzy, you just can't understand. This is for the best, really."

And suddenly, with a rustle of branches, he was gone.

I woke with a start, grasping my chest, panting, sweat covering my body. My blanket was twisted around my legs, falling partly off the bed. My head pounded, and I winced as I pressed my hand against my temple. Then suddenly, the memories from yesterday came rushing to the forefront of my mind, and I felt the tears try to reappear, and the sobs begin to creep their way into my throat, when all of a sudden, a thought popped into the sane part of my mind.

 _Why are you so upset?_

I stopped moving, focusing on that thought. Why _was_ I so upset? I was sure I'd been in love with Edward, and when he left me, I was terribly hurt. But why was I crying this much over him? Why was I laying around, doing nothing, simply because of Edward? Simply because of a _boy_. And a boy I'd been with for only a couple of months, at that.

I could feel a strange warmth gather in the pit of my stomach, and suddenly the realization hit me like an epiphany.

 _My life had revolved around him._

I gasped aloud at the realization, but I suddenly realized that it was true. I had completely forgotten about my other friends, ignoring them, putting all my time towards Edward. Hell, I hadn't even tried to hang out with Charlie, other then cooking him meals and doing the laundry. My life had centered around Edward, he had been the center of my universe. And why? Because I loved him? Maybe that was part of it, but why had I really taken an interest in him in the first place?

I thought hard, Trying to remember my first impression of him. I remember when I first saw him in the cafeteria that first day of school… his dark eyes, curiously looking at me. He had seemed so mysterious to me…

That was it. He had seemed so mysterious and different, I had wanted to find out more about him, and when I'd found out he was a vampire…

"That's it!" I jumped up from bed, pressing my hands against the sides of my head, astonished at my break-through. He had been a mystery at first, and I never could handle not figuring things out. And then when I'd found out he was a vampire, I just couldn't run away. And by that point, I'd already fallen in love with him… or had I? Had I really loved him? Or just loved his persona? His mysterious, vampire-who-eats-animals, who-loves-me-cause-he-can't-read-my-mind…ness. I couldn't be sure, but I had a feeling that I hadn't been as in love with him as I had thought.

I went over to my CD player and pressed the eject button, but nothing was there.

 _Huh…_ I wondered where it went. I didn't remember taking it out. I went to my closet, and grabbed my scrapbook. I flipped through the pages, until I came to the one with the picture of Edward and I. Except… Edward was gone. He had been cut out of the picture.

"What?" I said aloud, looking through the rest of the pictures. It was the same with all of them, someone had cut him out of all of pictures.

"Who-? Oh…" I realized who it was that had done all this. Taken the CD, cut up all my pictures.

Edward. Of course. Edward went into my room, took my CD, and cut up my pictures.

How. _Dare_ he?

I decided to do something. Placing the scrapbook back on the shelf, I grabbed a notebook and pen from my desk, and plopped down on my bed. I flipped open to a blank page, and I wrote

 _Edward Cullen_

I smiled grimly, and beginning at the top

 _Pros_

 _Caring_

I thought for a moment, and added

 _Considerate-ish_

I sighed, and concentrated for a moment. Thought some more… some more… nothing.

"Oh well, now for the fun stuff…" I smirked to myself, and wrote

 _Cons_

 _Over-possessive_

 _Controlling_

 _Rude_

 _Creepy_

 _Selfish_

 _Condescending_

 _Stalker_

 _Domineering_

I stopped, smiling with satisfaction at the list I'd already compiled. Not all of them were adjectives, but I couldn't care less. They described him to a tee. At least, from my new perspective. I felt free, lighter then air. I couldn't believe how I'd actually deluded myself into believing he was perfect. What a moron I'd been. I'd actually let him control me, I'd let him control my life.

I made a vow, then. I decided to never let a boy rule my life ever again. No matter what. Period. Edward had changed my perspective on relationships completely. For the better or worse? I didn't know. It didn't matter. All I knew was that I'd been been changed for good. Edward was gone.

And I couldn't be happier.


End file.
